Eating her cake
I rev up my snake
I light up some bud
The smoke make a right turn down her pants

She is on top
Of my rock
A mountain rising
Up into the grassy knoll of her horizon

Hey mommy, I ain't coming home tonight
I met this girl on catwalk who treats me right
And hey daddy, she said she loves me
That's what they all say when you lay the rug the right way

She's cooked and done

I sit and stare
In my electric chair
I cum in her hair
She's my 10-second mpeg girl
On a porn site

She is such a little slut
But I love her, yea I love her a lot

Down……town, she buys her smack
Then she lays down
Will you put it my other hole tonight
The first hole's fun but the second holes good n' tight

Chorus

She's cooked and done

HARD AS A ROCK

Mushroom hair girl fuck me
In the backroom tonight
Mushroom hair girl fuck me
Make me feel alright

Feed the junkie monkey at 7:00 clock
Throw a salmon to the polar bear
As you suck my cock

I'm hard as a rock

Mushroom hair girl hold me
On the train ride home
Chinese girl with the radical cut
Put your chopsticks in my butt [2x]
I'll put my chopsticks in your butt

If you're around, I'll take you home
To met my Italian grandma
We'll eat meatballs and ziti
She'll knit you a wool bikini

Mushroom hair girl fuck me
Ride the zebras back
Holy rolly rolly holy rolly rolly
Shoot my cum on your back

I'm hard as a rock

Mushroom hair girl I want you
Every single day
Don't let me go home (4x)
Don't let me go home alone

MR. PRESIDENT

Hey Mr. President
The world doesn't revolve around you
Everyone knows your aa
Pompous mutherfucka
And dick Chaney is a violent whore

Dropping bombs in the third world
To steal 300 billion barrels of oil
You pissed off the towel heads
Fuck the jerks, I'll take Israel instead
Let 'em know I'm the king of the world

Your poverty draft is working
Thousands more kids are gonna die
When Bush, Powell, Rumsfield and Rice
Decide to roll race-war dice
And base it
On a colossal lie

Hey Mr. President
Every terrorist surely gets their due
But you pushed our country back 200 years
With your paranoid cocaine fears
When all along the terrorist is you

ALPHABET KIDS

Caffeine boy takes cigarette girl home (again)
On avenue A she rubs his frozen stone (yup)
By Avenue B her legs are around his neck
She says I want you back
I want you back [2x]

Cigarette girl made a name for herself
She don't need no caffeine boy to put her on a shelf
He's only gonna get one more night in the sack
But now I want you back
I want you back [2x]

Indeed its good to have a friend to fuck
But I need a little more then a one-night fuck
We had a good thing -- you and me
Now it's over, don't fuck with me
Don't fuck with me (3x)

Caffeine boy was all full of maybes
Cigarette girl stays home and makes babies
Caffeine man needs his fix
Add some alcohol to the sex

Caffeine boy
Cigarette girl
Caffeine boy
Cigarette girl


AMERICAN X-PATRIOT

Flip on the lights
Expose the mites
Losing our rights
Everyday

Army is the new fade
Bombs over Baghdad
A killer in gray plaid
Constitution's blight
Sure great to be white [in America]

Power to the people as Uncle Sam opens our my ass
He pushed my stool up so far, now I got gas [fart sound]

So tell it to General Ashcroft, he can eat my shit
The media can film it -- we'll throw his head to the snake pit

I'm so proud 3x
To be an American x-patriot

Titanic going down
Grab at the crown
The end is near
I'm staying clear

American democracy
Gives with one hand
Takes with three
It just ain't right
It's time to fight…3x

Power to the people cause the red white and blue ain't dead
The senate might drop its pants -- and the congress may give it head

But tell those pimps in Washington -- we're not for sale
You may steal an election - but some day you'll rot jail [3x]

I'm so proud 3x
To be an American…


UNDER YOUR UMBRELLA

Can I get under your umbrella
I really am a nice fella
Wait until I get you home

I'll find new ways to make you happy
I'll show you pictures of my pappy
I'll put another ruffy in your beer

I'll tie your hands with a guitar chord
Make you squeal and pray to the lord
O god it feels so
When you give me -- your good-wood

Like I know you should

Now that I'm under your umbrella
You smell just like Cinderella
And now I know you taste just as good

I'll tie your hands with a guitar chord
Make you squeal and pray to the lord
O god it feels so
Give me more -- of your good wood

Like I know you would

When the time is right, I'll open up my heart
You'll own a permanent place in my car

Now I'm your permanent fella
Lock me up in the cellar
Come down when you need it good and hard
I'll bury my dog bone in your yard
I'll work that skirt - emm -- good and hard
You'll own a permanent space in my heart

LISA MARY PRESLEY

Her name is Lisa Presley
Her father never impressed me
She slept with Michael Jackson
For a while

They never had any good sex
Cause Michael likes the same sex
But Lisa wanted a baby
So they did

O fuck Michael through a plastic sheet
You have to touch me
We'll keep it short and sweet
Bury me with your big black shank
But Michael had a problem --- he was shooting blanks

We'll Michael went to the doctor
The doctor said hire a whore
The whore carried the baby
For nine months

Now Michael likes little boys
And Lisa wanted a little girl
Butt Michael got his way
Like Woody Allen got Soon-Yi

O fuck Michael through a plastic sheet
You have to love me
We'll keep it short and sweet
Bury me with your big black shank
Cause if Elvis were alive -- you'd walk the plank

THE RECORD EXECUTIVE

Well I met this guy on the Internet
He said he was a record exec
He said he wanted my music
The world is gonna write you a check [kid]

Then he said then he said gimme 5 grand
Gimme 5 grand gimme 5 grand or you'll go nowhere
Gimme 5 grand gimme 5 fucking grand or you'll go nowhere

Well that didn't sound like a good deal
So I told him go fuck himself
He kept sending me stupid email
Trying to sell me everything on the shelf

He kept saying, hay man -- gimme 5 grand
Gimme 5 grand gimme 5 grand and I'll make you a star
Gimme 5 grand gimme 5 fucking grand or you'll go nowhere

He wasn't a guy who would lay down
He said he was gonna kick my ass

Go ahead just try it… you fat fuck … I'll come over there and kick your ass
Who the fuck do you think you are trying to rip me off for 5 grand
Come within 10 feet of me and I'll put a knife in your chest

He kept saying, hay man -- gimme 5 grand
Gimme 5 grand gimme 5 grand and I'll make you a star
Gimme 5 grand gimme 5 grand…so I can rip you off

THE DEATH OF COMMERCIAL RADIO

Driving in my car
I roll the window down
80 channels of shit
Whirling around
Radio is such garbage
It's really such a bore
The record labels piss on it
And DJs are all whores

The death of commercial radio [3x]
[Shining down on me]

1962
Flowers in their hair
Radio played
What they wanted to hear
Now its commercialism
A Clear Channel takeover
Radio owners know its true
That Big Brother's giving us the royal screw

The death of commercial radio [3x]
[Shining down on me]

lying in the park
I push the needle in
To calm down my nerves
From the universal radio sin

GAY FOR A DAY

Your so round
300 pounds
You eat more cake
And pork pot grounds
Your flub gets in the way
Your fat ass gets in the way
You make me wanna be Gay for a day
You make me wanna be Gay for a day

You're a pig
A big fat pig
You're always in someone's way
Your fat ass is in my way
You make me wanna be Gay for a day
You make me wanna be Gay for a day

I believe you are what you eat
When I met you, you didn't have that big fat seat
I know how you feel, cause I was once a fatty too
I went on a liquid diet, and now I'm cool
Maybe you should try one too.

You're shit out of luck
I shot the cook
Cause you got more chins
Than a Chinese phone book
Your flub gets in the way
Your blubber gets in the way
You make me wanna be Gay for a day
You make me wanna be Gay for a day

THE LOLLYPOP MAN

We represent the lollypop man
In the white house

We try to unfoil
American popular opinion
We'll strangle and uncoil
200 years of psudo-winning
Appointed not elected
We're paid to kiss the presidents ass
In the bowels of the White house
All the President's men pass gas

We represent the lollypop man
In the white house

We'll find a way
to make voices heard
In the ramble and the flames
Of two buildings coming down, down, down, down

Out on the front line
In the daily paper, and on your TV
Up on the movie screen
Trying to sell me what America should be
But the rhetoric and propaganda
Hit an all time low
They say it's national protection
But what they really want
Is improved stock options

We represent the lollypop man
In the white house


I'M A CAT

I go meow
I got a white face
And a pink nose

I got a tail
I wage it around
I point my ears
To every sound

I bite your nose
I'll chew your toes
Cause its fun

I chase bugs
I like how they taste
I lick my ass
Then I lick your face
There ain't no disgrace
From my ass to your face

I'm a cat
I go meow
I love my wine
In the morning
I got whiskers
I shit in a sand box
Eat salmon locks
Get off on dirty socks

I wake up after dark
Cause its fun (meow)

I meet my lovers
Out in the back ally
I'll sniff your ass
I'll lick their tail
It makes me dizzy
Like a smooth catnip fizzy

I chase bugs
I like how they taste
I lick my ass
Then I lick your face

I'm a cat…I go meow

IN YOUR ASS

Everyone's down sometime
I feel fine
All good things come to pass
When I'm pumping your ass

I can't wait to get knee deep in your butt
When I was with your sister, I knew you were the slut
Always knew I'd get a taste of your sexy ass
I want it more now, and I wanna make it last

Uh-hu

I heard you scream in the night
That means your good and tight
Don't think I'll ever run out of gas
When I'm pumping your ass [2x]

I yae ya…

Uh-hu

I wanna see you again
Till the bitter end
I wanna let you in on something
You're the first ass I've been in…

I pray to a magic Buda
That sends me down some holla holla
I'm in deeper than I think
And my beepers going off

When I'm pumping your ass …4X

SHE'S ONE GOOD FUCK

I meet her at the Sunshine Theater, she was alone -- and so was I
I ordered up some buttered popcorn, that's when she caught my eye
She left a trail of corn back to her seat, I followed it like a champion
We both sat down I said "hey, how you doing," she put her hand on my belt
I pulled out my rocket, she climbed on board, she spit my cum
Back in her cup
Ooh-ooh, she's one good fuck

I called her up on her cell phone; she was walking up Broadway
Hey babe, how you doing? Is all I could think to say
I said lets meet on the third floor of Barnes & Noble
We'll both have cookies and cream
Instead she led me by the hand into the poetry section
For afternoon whoopee
She lifted her skirt; I slid my cock inside
She wiped up the puddle with a book
Ooh-ooh, she's one good fuck

Now we live together, got a one bedroom on 59th
The sex just gets better and better, every day & night
You'd think that over time we'd get tired of each other
The fact is we fuck at great lengths
Like just the other day, while we were shopping in k-mart
We fucked in a tent
Shoppers passing, in the camping section
Say, "I guess some guys have all the luck"
Ooh-ooh, she's one good fuck

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